I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
