he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
