Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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