you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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