Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
