So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
