When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
