just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize