That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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