problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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