If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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