As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
