omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
