I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I want is dick and wine.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
