Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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