I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize