Your dad touched me again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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