We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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