Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I had to cum in my sink.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
