i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We need to rekindle our bromance
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
