He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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