He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
