i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
