he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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