their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
