More tranny stories later!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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