I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize