He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
