Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
