i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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