New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
