Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
