peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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