I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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