I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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