I'm eating all of the evidence.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
