You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize