she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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