after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
