He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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