Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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