so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
