We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
