I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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