with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
