Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
