I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
