my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
did you just send me my own nude
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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