Pregnant stripper...not hot.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't deserve a penis
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
