if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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