But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
where are my eyebrows?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
