I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
