Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize