I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
