Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
