At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize