she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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