he wants to bone in the snuggie
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
