i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
