I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
