I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Someone shit on the floor
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
