id be glad to
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize